My family and I, we are Different. When you come to our house, it is decorated with Different things in colors that make Different people happy. Our house smells Different. On our walls, we frame pictures of Different people. Some are framed because they are our family, and some are framed because they are famous Different people.
While you walk around our Different house, you try to find things you recognize. You recognize some of the framed famous Different people and say, “I’ve seen her in a Different movie!” or “I saw the movie about that important guy in Different history!” This makes us happy. We frame these famous Different people because we are proud of them. We are proud that people who are not Different know who they are. We are proud that you know who they are. We are proud that, at least once, you picked a Different movie or learned about a Different historical figure. We have spent our lifetimes watching your movies and learning about your triumphant history. Even in our lifetime of watching your movies, we never seem to catch up on all of your movies you think we should have seen. We know your history and the points in history when your history and our Different history cannot both be true. We do not choose between the two truths.
When you sit at our Different dining table, you remember that you have another Different friend. You ask us if we know that person. We do not because the Different community is large and diverse, and we do not know all the other Different people any better than you know all your people.
We serve you Different food. You eat it politely, after asking what is in it and how to eat it. You compliment the taste and ask questions about Different cooking. We tell you that we had to improvise this time because our Different spices are unavailable in the regular supermarket. Sometimes we go to the Different food store to pick up what we need to make Different food, but that store is far away in the neighborhood we used to live in but saved up a lot of money to leave.
You say that our Different food reminds you of some other delicious food you ate somewhere else at another time. You describe the food. You ask us if we make it, if we like it. We do not make it. We’ve never heard of it.
When you come over again, you don’t remember that you have already said these things to us and you say them all again. But we are prepared. We sorted out all of your confusion from the last time; we looked everything up for you. We explain to you that the food that you are thinking of is not Different food. It is Strange food.
We talk about school. You and I went to the same one. Your parents wanted you to graduate from the same schools they attended. My parents wanted me to graduate from any school they could not attend.
When you arrived there, you quietly counted the seats and you knew that a certain number were saved for Different people and others who were not like you. This made it harder for you to get in, but you and your parents worked really hard.
When I arrived there, I quietly counted my blessings. My parents did not work hard across generations to create a legacy in This School. My parents did not work hard to send me to This School. My parents worked hard to put me next to you. They worked hard so that I could sit in safety with you, take the same education as you and add it to my Different brain, so that I could have two brains, a Different one and one like yours. They worked hard so that I could be equal to you and the same as them, and so that you could think of me as your equal and they could think of me as themselves.
Even though we sat next to each other, even though sometimes I helped you with the homework and sometimes you helped me, I was and felt different because I am Different.
When my Different family and I take a walk, we never take up the whole sidewalk. We pause and step aside to be mindful of letting those behind us pass without inconvenience. When I walk with you, you pay no mind to who is behind you and where they are going or how much longer it will take them to arrive because they are going your way. Sometimes my Different family and I are turned away from hotels or bus seats that are not full. You put yourself where you have the right to be, which is everywhere, everywhere.
My Different family and I try not to walk or drive or speak too slowly because people who are not Different lose their patience with us. Sometimes you speak to us too slowly, and sometimes you block our walk or drive, but we cannot lose our patience with you because we cannot afford to scare you.
You debate where our new Different place of worship should open, and whether our Different relatives should be permitted to live here too. We try not to speak Different in front of you because it is rude to exclude you, but sometimes you talk about us like we aren’t even there.
No matter, we love having you in our Different home. We will host you again, any time you put yourself at our doorstep. The door is always open because, if we close it, we choke ourselves in the smoke of our extinguished hope. You can walk into our home at any speed you like. But please, please come visit, walk with us. If you come with an open mind, we’ll tell you everything about what is Different, what is Strange, and even what is Unusual. Things would be much better for all of us, if we got together and made things just a little bit different.
With special thanks to my cousin Merna for her conversations and inspiration.